


I Need You

by magequisition



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 8x09, Episode Related, First Kiss, Fluff, Forgiveness, M/M, hunteri heroici
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-29
Updated: 2012-11-29
Packaged: 2017-11-19 19:52:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/577027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magequisition/pseuds/magequisition
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Sam *doesn't* return at an inopportune time. Spoilers for 8x08</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need You

**Author's Note:**

> Extending the "Talk to me" scene, if Sam hadn't returned when he did.

"I'm afraid I might kill myself."

Dean felt his heart drop into his stomach. "Cas." His voice was rough, and his throat felt like something was blocking it. "Cas, you couldn't help it. You were - it was like you said - the leviathans….it wasn't you, Cas. You didn't do that." Cas' eyes fell to his hands fidgeting in his lap.

            "Then why do I still feel so guilty, Dean?" he asked. Dean shook his head.

            "I dunno, man. Because…because you're you. You're Cas. And you're _good_ , man. You're the freakin' best." Dean stood up and moved to sit on the other bed beside Cas, nudging his shoulder to encourage the angel to turn towards him. Cas did so, tucking one leg up under the other. "And because you're so damn good, you can't separate _you_ from your damn body. It was the leviathan that did all that crap, Cas. It wasn't you." Dean paused for a moment, taking a deep breath, before reaching out to take Cas' hand. "Cas," he said. Cas looked down at their joined hands before looking up at Dean again.

            "You've gotta let go of the guilt, Cas." Dean said. His voice had turned strangely quiet and he could feel tears stinging the corners of his eyes. "I can't - I can't lose you. Not again. I won't let it happen. I won't let you go this time."

            "Dean…" Cas' voice held a note of something Dean couldn't identify. Fear? He wasn't sure.

            "Not happening, Cas. I need you." Dean's voice was resolute this time, though still quiet. He tugged on Cas' hand and pulled him towards himself, wrapping his arms around the angel's shoulders. "I am not losing you again," he said, mumbling slightly as he pressed his forehead against Cas' neck, sinking in towards him when he felt Cas' arms wrap around him in return. He gripped the back of Cas' trenchcoat tightly, pulling him in even closer as he shifted his head slightly and, without thinking, placed a soft kiss on Cas neck. He jolted back slightly, unable to get far due to Cas' arms around him.

            "Dean…?" Cas said.

            "I. Uh. Sorry, Cas, I mean. I didn't mean to. Um," Dean stammered. Cas' mouth set in a contemplative look for a minute before he leaned forward and kissed Dean squarely on the lips. Dean responded instinctively, returning the kiss while one hand slid from the top of Cas' back up to his hair, tangling his fingers in the short strands. They broke away a moment later, Dean trailing his fingers along the back of Cas' neck.

            "I am not. Going. To. Lose. You." Dean said roughly. Cas' blue eyes were shining slightly, as though he was fighting to keep tears back as he mimicked Dean's movement, sliding one hand up the back of his neck and pressed it against the back of Dean's head, resting his forehead against the other man's.

            "I can't go back, Dean. Not yet. Please, accept that. Give me time. I think…" he trailed off.

            "What, Cas? Tell me."

            "I think…if you will help me, I may be able to assuage my guilt enough to return to Heaven one day. To perhaps find out what has brought me back." Cas closed his eyes, and Dean pulled him in tightly again. Cas' head rest on his shoulder.

            "Anything you need, Cas. Just say the word," he whispered into Cas' ear. "We'll get you through this. Me and you." 


End file.
